I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
