my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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