Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
