Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
