drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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