No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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