i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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