I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
