Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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