So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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