I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
