They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize