Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
