I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
