Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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