her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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