considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
