I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
