What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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