just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
