Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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