Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
