I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
