too bad you live with your parents still
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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