I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
