I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
kristin has been a bad kristin
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
