so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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