Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you win again, gameday.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
