I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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