Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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