Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
