I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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