You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
