so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
