Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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