I puked a lego.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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