i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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