I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize