Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
