Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
