Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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