thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
