I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize