Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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