he shaved USA in his pubs
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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