he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize