its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
