i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
