Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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