oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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