You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
