All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
