Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
