Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
