she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize