The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
