those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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