Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
