nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
