yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize