im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
