Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
