i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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