Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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