Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
